Sometimes I've Had Enough.

I am so ready to be back in my own home. Or maybe to have my own house altogether. With no one else. And my own bathroom. And bedroom.

The introvert has arrived.

Sometimes Rain is Great

I love rainy Sunday afternoons. There's just something so calming about coming home after church, changing into sweats, and curling up with a good book. Mmm...love it!

Also, I've started to play the harmonica! I bought one in White Rock yesterday and am now determined to become a brilliant harmonica-ist. Or something. I love it, cuz it's about the geekiest thing this side of an accordian, and it's much cheaper. So here I go! Anyone have any good harmonica tips?

Sometimes there's not enough time to blog.

Funny how when there's nothing to say, one has time to blog endlessly, and yet when so much is happening, there is no chance to share it with loved ones. Yeesh.

Here is a rundown of the last week or so:

• got really sick, spent an entire weekend sleeping
• experienced that crucial day when everything at program just clicked - everyone knew what was going on and what they should be doing, and everyone was enjoying themselves
• took some kids to a Whitecaps game, where we saw Steve Nash
  
• realized in a panic that three of the six weeks of camp are over
• tried to help out a family who's involved with UP, and had an experience I probably shouldn't broadcast to the whole internet, but would love to share with you the next time I see you
• started a new book, which is rather superficial, but good for summer reading
• took some kids to the Steve Nash Foundation Charity Classic at GM Place, where we saw Steve Nash
• shamelessly pretended to have numerous connections to both Steve Nash and Nelly Furtado (they are both from my hometown, you know. And Nelly's dad did all the rock work in our back yard)
  
• randomly ran into friends from home at church
• played with the cutest three year old
• held an adorable two month old boy
• hung out with my brother, missed the rest of my family, and realized how much no one ever tells you when you're the baby of the family
• cursed the heat
  
• wished I had my own bathroom. . .or maybe my own house altogether
• dreaded tomorrow, the eleven hour work day
• wore a skirt for an entire day (this has never been done before!)
• wrote a long list of everything I did, which no one in their right minds would actually finish reading

Ok, that's it for now. I apologize for the lack of interesting tidbits, but at least I got something out there. Here's hoping I'll get better at this over the next three weeks. And here's knowing that I won't.

Sometimes It's Impossible

Balance? What's that? And how do you get it?

Camp's going really well, and I'm having a blast, but there doesn't seem to be much life outside of camp. But I guess that's how it goes sometimes.

On a brighter note, today is free slurpee day (since it's the seventh month and the eleventh day) and my roomies and I are about to set out on a city-wide 7-11 tour. Last year we went to about five different stores. . .I think we're planning on even more this year. We got a head start last night at 1am when we went for a preview trip. I really wonder why I never knew about this before last year. Go figure.

Sometimes it's not at all what you expect.

Today I worked from 7:30am till 6pm. It was fun, but oh boy was it chaotic.

As for my program, well...we had five kids and nine leaders. Not that this is going to be the norm, but as it was technically a holiday and also the first day of camp, attendance was down.

So basically I had to revamp everything that I've been planning for the past month. And I forgot to buy fruit.

And yet, despite the disastrous start, I feel pretty good. I had fun, and I have faith that things are going to pick up. Also, I don't start work until ten tomorrow. So that helps.

Here we go again...

Sometimes it's harder than you expect.

This summer I'm learning to juggle. It's a lot harder than I would have thought.

I'm learning to juggle past relationships with new ones, director duties with intern duties, and caring for others with caring for myself.

Three days in, and I already know that this is going to be a huge summer for learning. I'm excited and I'm scared. I can't wait to see how this all turns out.

Sometimes It's Too Hot

Today it was 33 degrees outside. And I played soccer. For an hour and a half. At one point I pushed too hard and my knees gave out and I did a face plant. That was embarrassing.

I got so hot by the end of the game that my friends actually convinced me to jump in Trout Lake. Something I swore I'd never do and am tempted to deny ever having done. Sick sick sick. But it felt good good good. And I saw a bunch of my favourite UP kids who were swimming too. So all in all it worked out pretty well.

Does soccer ever not turn out well?

I think not.

Sometimes It's Time for Change

I'm done! So totally done with school for this year!

And in two hours I head to Vancouver for the summer. Yipes! I am feeling so many different things right now I don't even know where to begin.

I am feeling:

• happy that school's done
• proud of myself for actually doing well in that class
• apprehensive about how the summer's going to go
• stressed out about packing
• unloved becuase no one really notices I'm leaving
• excited to see my kids and youths and friends in the vdot
• tired
  
• sore in the mouth
• confused!!

Those are far too many feelings. Yeesh.

Sometimes the fear is the worst part.

I went to the dentist today to get a couple of fillings. . .and left without two of my wisdom teeth.

I've been putting off getting my wisdom teeth out forever because I was totally terrified of the pain, but so far it hasn't been that bad. Hoorah for Tylenol 3!

Unfortunately, now I have to write a paper for my english class while on more drugs than I can count. Heck, I can barely write this post! I was planning on being much wittier, but at the moment I'm mostly just trying to keep my eyes open.

Also, as a side note, my friend Amber just called me! I love Amber! That made me very happy.

Ok, I'm done. Sleep time.

The Islands

This weekend g.mango and I went to the Gulf Islands for some much-appreciated relaxing. We saw many chickens, ferries, beaches and deer. We spent many happy hours at a market, in a hot tub, and reading books. But the highlight of the weekend was when g.mango sacrificed one of my flip flops to the ocean off Pender Island in an attempt to capture this starfish:





Here's my perfectly shaped flip-flop making its bid for freedom.












And here is one naked guilty foot...and the remaining lonely flip-flop.

Sometimes Weekends Are Great.

My sister and I went to the spa this afternoon. Body scrub, mud wrap/scalp and face massage, swedish massage...it's all in a day's work. We're thinking of making it a weekly routine.

I wish.

Now I'm making seven dozen cookies for a tea tomorrow that I can't go to. Oh the things we'll do for our friends. I hope they'll be enjoyed anyway.

Tomorrow evening I'm going to my third family dinner in a week. I'm starting to become desensitized to the chaos. Maybe that's a good thing. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Sometimes Boys Are Too Much Work.

I always sit next to the same guy in my English class. I really enjoy him, in a very platonic way (though I have to admit he is kinda cute). Today I found out that he's married, and I'm shocked at how much freedom that brings to me. I don't really think that's the way it should be, but I do think that's the way it is.

On the other hand, two of my good guy friends are in serious relationships. One of them is getting married this summer. Instead of feeling freedom, I feel frustrated. Frustrated and afraid that our closeness is going to be misinterpreted. I feel like I can't spend time alone with them anymore and that I'm going to lose a great friendship because of this.

Argh. Boys.

Sometimes I Feel Left Out

It's bike to work week here in Victoria. If I had a bike...or a job...I might actually think about participating.

So since I can't help save the environment, I decided to save a life or two instead. I gave blood this evening, and I think that you should do it too! It's super easy, and you can save someone's life! Seriously, what better things do you have to do with your time?? Also, I think you should all bug me to give more often...cuz I'm lazy about these kinds of things. So yes, let's all go save some lives!

In other news, I saw a picture of my parents' wedding today...it was the first such picture I've ever seen. I think that's a little weird, don't you?

Sometimes I Love Having A Full House

My sister is living at home right now, and I really love it! Seeing as she moved out when I was ten or eleven, it's quite a treat having her around.

Tonight, for instance, I was sitting in my room lamenting my boredom when I heard a knock on my door. It was my sister, wanting to know if I wanted to go to the bookstore with her!

1a) I love it when my sister asks me to go places with her. It's such a far cry from when I was six and she was thirteen and I couldn't even pay her to spend time with me.

2b) I love the bookstore! And Tim Hortons! Who knew my sister and I had so much in common?

3c) Unfortunately, we also both love baths. Which means the tub needs to be scrubbed every 27 seconds these days. But it's a small price to pay for having my big sister around again.

Sometimes It All Works Out.

I signed up to volunteer with my kids all summer, not knowing how I was going to pay for school next year.

THEN. . .

Last week they offered me a job. Today it was finalized! I get to help design a program that I get to direct this summer! I am very very excited. I love how things just work out like this sometimes.

Sometimes I Just Can't Do It

I have a paper due tomorrow.

Is it long? No, not at all.

Is it difficult? Not in the slightest.

Have I been too busy to do it? Not so much.

So why have I only written two paragraphs? Good question.

I know once I get started I can hammer it out in an hour or so. But for some reason I just can't get myself to start. Funny how when you're not as busy you seem to accomplish so much less. I wasn't made to take one class at a time.

Sometimes I'm Too Busy.

It's official. All of the wedding invitations are in. On August 5th I have a wedding at 1pm and another at 4pm. Good thing they're the only two that are in the same city.

Sometimes Plans Change

My aunt called this morning.

Evidently, my brother and sister and I are about to receive an all-expenses-paid trip to San Diego for my cousin's wedding. She was booking the flights and wanted to know how long we could stay.

There had been rumours of such a thing, but I was certain we'd been mistaken. Apparently not. Flights, hotels, tours, dinners. . .all paid for by my wealthy relatives to the south.

So apparently I'm going to San Diego for a week(ish) this August. Who knew?

I just hope I'm done UrbanPromise by then. . .

Sometimes I'm Lonely

Calling All Friends, Near and Far!
. . . especially far

You're done. Whatever you're doing wherever you are, you're officially finished. I miss you all too much and it is now time for you to move back (or, for some of you, move for the first time) to Victoria. What good is all this beautiful sunshine when so many friends are so far away? I think that everyone I love should live within a five block radius of my house. Sound like a deal? I thought so. And hey, if anyone needs a place to stay for a few days while they look for a house here, we do have a couple of spare rooms!

I'm so done with being lonely.

Sometimes I'm Confused.

How is it that I've fallen in love with city kids when I was born to live in the country? I spent a couple of days at camp this weekend, and it was so good. There is something so deeply, so profoundly spiritual to me about nature.

Lying on the sweet grass, gazing
through dappled apple leaves
to a perfect blue sky.
Being visited by a young buck,
his antlers merely buds, hints
of coming strength.
Watching shorn sheep graze languidly as red-breasted robins
perch on the smooth, bare backs.
Straining my ears and hearing nothing
but birds and breeze.
To me, this is perfection.
I wish I could share it with you.